I need to get some things off my chest. Partake in a little confessional and cleanse my mama soul. I’m hoping I’m not the only one that does some of these but if I am, I’m ok with that because they are helping me survive.

My Mum Confessions:

1. Some nights I tell my children it’s bedtime at 6.30pm instead of 7.30pm. I manage to trick them into thinking its 7.30 because they can’t tell the time yet and no daylight savings is on my side, for now.

2. About once a week my children’s dinner consists of 2min noodles, spaghetti or eggs on toast or toasted sandwiches. I just can not pull off 7 nights of decent cooking.

3. I push snooze on my alarm clock at least 3 times before getting up and rushing around like a mad woman to make school drop off in time.

4. Miss partakes in the schools weekly sausage sizzle just so I don’t have to make her a sandwich on a Thursday.

5. If we’ve run out of bread, I’ll send her to school with a can of tuna.

6. I hide chocolate and lollies on the top shelf of the pantry and I don’t share.

7. I’ve eaten cooking chocolate more than once.

8. Also, the cooking wine….

9. I go to the supermarket for bread and milk but take over half an hour and spend at least $50.

10. I do not and have never tried to make paleo treats. Or just paleo anything really.

11. I’ve recently just bought a new bra, only because I realised I NEVER wash the other one.

12. I don’t cut out sandwiches into bear faces and I do not draw smileys on the girls bananas for their lunches.

13. I sometimes have to do the sniff test to decide between clean and dirty socks.

14. I have said my babes are sick to get out of a social invite. More than once.

15. I pull the fingers and mouth ‘F you’ behind my kids backs some days. It truly helps me feel better.

16. When I’m exhausted DVDs are my best friend. We make pop corn, we grab a blanket and we all lie down. It’s compulsory.

17. I love bath time because the girls will play in there for almost half an hour but some nights we skip it and they go to bed without one.

18. I only wash their hair once a week. Shock, horror but it actually only needs to be washed that much. And, nits apparently like clean hair. We’ve never had nits, touch wood.

19. I’m a terrible housewife. I hate the washing. I wash it, I hang it out, it stays on the line overnight, I bring it in, it lives in the basket for four days, I fold it and it stays on the table until it’s back in the dirty washing pile again. I am terrible at washing. I vacuum around the washing baskets, it’s really bad.

20. I don’t make the beds every morning. I mostly straighten them up before the kids jump back in them.

21. My husband cleans the bathroom. The only time I ever gave the bath a decent clean was when I was pregnant and hoping being down on my knees would speed up labour.

22. I vacuumed and mowed the lawns a fair bit when my babes were young. It drowned out the crying when I reached the point where I had no idea what else to do to stop it. I’d put them safely wrapped in the bassinette and vacuum the crap out of the house.

23. Some days, I put myself in time out. It’s easier than trying to seperate the kids. They soon realise I’m hiding (normally with my secret treats) and sort themselves out.

24. I will be the mum that kisses my babes goodbye until I die. I still hug and kiss my own parents goodbye. I will tell them I love them a thousand times a day and I don’t feel bad that I do it.

25. I am terrified of sending my children out into this world. First days at school, first solo play dates, first camp sleep overs, all of it sends me into a state of anxiety. I pray every day in a world full of cruelty and hardship that I have taught my girls to be tough enough to be the kindness. To just be nice.

Do you have any Mum confessions to make? Surely, I am not alone. Don’t be ashamed, I’m not. My children are alive and thriving thanks mostly to me, and ya gotta do what ya gotta do to get through.

Mel x